What i have learned from my wife

What i have learned from my wife

First runner-up post in the 1000 EC weekly contest
(originally posted by Rajaram Sethuraman in http://www.srajaram.com/)

or is it learnt ? I have always known the past tense of learn as learnt. So, when i saw this "writing project", asking bloggers to write a post on what they have learned from XXX, I was confused. I then checked many pages online to sort this out. It seems that Americans use learned more than learnt, while UK English stipulates that the past tense of learn as learnt. I found this surprising because Americans have the tendency to do away with anything that they feel is unnecessary like the u in colour.

Anyway, back to the writing project. I have been married for a little more than 5 years and this seemed to be an appropriate opportunity for me to write as to what i have learned from my wife.

• I had been a fashion disaster all my life before marriage. Even after 5 years of marriage, I am still arguing about this fact by quoting various instances of fan-following at various stages of my life. I fail to understand as to why she fails to understand that pieces of thread hanging from the bottom of my worn out jeans are a fashion statement and not something befitting a pauper! Because of this, i am used to getting a "dressing down" every morning.
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• The living room couch/sofa should always be in showroom condition. Well, when i sit on the sofa, all parts of my body stretch out in different directions with the leg sometimes (ok, almost always) ending up on the hand rest. Cmon, this is my house, my sofa. I should be allowed to be comfortable on it, not sit like a junior employee in a board room meeting with just the edge on the butt placed on the seat! Another point i always raise is the fact that we are not going to get any visitors at midnight. If so, why should i take the effort to set right the sofa and the cushions on them when i go to bed at night after watching TV.
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• I am supposed to follow the Six Sigma Methodology in my daily life i.e make only 3.4 mistakes in a million tasks. But she doesn't realise the mental stress that goes into planning so many tasks like folding up the clothes i am wearing before going to bathe or hanging the towel in a proper place after bath and not just leave it on the bed. Motorola employees do much simpler tasks, so it is easy for them to follow this methodology, not me!
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• Wash my face every 15.3 minutes to always remain fresh. I know whether i am feeling fresh or not. How can she decide that I am not feeling fresh and force me to have a face-wash. I go to the extent of even doing some acrobatic exercises to prove to her that in spite of the fact that my face might look like i have just gotten out of bed, I am feeling fresh and fit!
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• Finally, Vidhya was the one who suggested to write about "What i learned from my wife" for this writing project on Middle Zone Musings. So, she finally makes a decision which she is going to regret about :-)

About the author: Mr. S.Rajaram is an Indian Software engineer working for Amdocs in Cyprus. After going through some of his other posts I wondered why he'd sent in this post for the contest when some others are in fact true winners. Maybe like the proverbial husband he loved taking a dig at his post-marital life :).